What To Do When an Imperfect Person Dies

And what your reaction reveals about your character

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Yesterday a father and daughter perished in a plane crash. A woman is now a widow, other children now have no father, and a family is grieving. I think all empathetic people can agree that this is a tragedy.

Here’s the rub. The father and husband in question was accused - accused but not convicted - of rape by a 19 year old fan who went to his hotel Room, made out with him, and reached inside his pants for his penis. No one except the father who died and the woman who accused him know what went on in that Room that night several years ago. No… we don’t, regardless of popular hashtags or our own personal experiences. I was raped at the age of 12 by a man with whom I did not willingly engage, and even I know that I do not know what went on in that hotel Room.

But honestly, we shouldn’t even be having this conversation. Less than 24 hours ago, a family was changed forever by a terrible accident. They are grieving, and no doubt they’re grieving is being constantly interrupted by reporters. I am sure they are afraid to check their phones or turn on the news. And this should not be.