This pulled at my heart. I met my own birthmother at the age of 30. She told me that she had recurring dreams about trying to find a child in the woods or hearing a crying child she couldn't find. She later said she stopped having those dreams once me met. My adoptive parents are amazing, and I have had a life full of love, like the vast majority of adoptees. However, I had often wondered what the journey was like for her. I am so sorry you had to experience such pain, but I am glad you are in a good place now.