This brought tears to my eyes. I loved it. I am adopted, and I was the child of an affair. I didn’t know that until I met my birth-mother. My birth-father was much like your ex — charming, somewhat narcissistic, and a cheater. He was cheating on my birth-mom while she carried me too.

I love your take on “everything happens for a reason” mythology as well. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who is so grounded and loving and real.