Here’s the thing…my character is my responsibility, my husband’s is his. If he falls off the wagon, does that entitle me to fall off? Or am I responsible for my character no matter what he does? I’d prefer to be a good person even if my husband gets lazy. Your mileage may vary. I say this as someone who cheated on a former husband who denied sex and couldn’t keep a job and was passive aggressive and gained at least 60 pounds. Guess what? My affair was 100% MY responsibility and MY fault. He helped mess up the marriage, but I was the only one who made the choice to cheat.